Dear Male Locker Room Patrons,
I joined a new gym a couple months ago and there seem to be some alarming trends that I have noticed. Each of which (in my humble opinion) is a violation of locker room etiquette. I want to start with informing you that I am not a gym virgin. I have used a gym all through college and have belonged to a various assortment of gyms/clubs since. My point is that I have used locker rooms and do understand that men have to change, shower, etc. I myself use the shower when I use the gym in the mornings. With this in mind, I have outlined the violations I have witnessed below:
1. The hair dryer is for the hair on your head. Use on any other part of your body, especially areas below the waist, is strictly prohibited.
2. I am more than willing to talk about the weather, politics, sports or any other topic. However, boxers (at a minimum) are required to start a conversation.
3. Leave the nail clippers at home. You are old enough to realize that when you clip, the nails shoot off into mystery land. This mystery land normally encompasses the area surrounding my locker.
4. The sign that says “No Exercises in the Steam Room” is not a joke and references any and all exercises. Stretching, lunging, and squatting are not exceptions to this rule.
5. Rule #4 applies to the sauna as well.
6. Please be conscientious of others around you especially at adjacent lockers. You do not need to have your gym socks, flip flops, towels, gym bag, belt, shoes, etc strewn around you in a 4 ft radius.
7. Washing gym shorts or bathing suits in the gym sink is not allowed. You have a washing machine at home – use it.
8. If you decide to lay down in the steam room or sauna, please lay in a position that is considerate to those around you. Legs facing a wall and flat are preferred. If this is not possible, a minimum of 3 towels is required for coverage.
Please review your locker room habits and behavior and ensure that all rules above are followed. There have been many other violations but these are the most egregious. Please do not hesitate to contact me if you have any questions or require further clarification.
Kind Regards,
Dave
I LOVE IT! Hilarious.